


Aligning Stars

by RedEyedQueen21



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Finn is a Jedi!, Finn-centric, Jedi Prince Finn, M/M, Mentions of the Rogue One, Protective Finn, Slow Burn, and a Prince!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-07
Updated: 2017-04-24
Packaged: 2018-09-30 06:24:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10156115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedEyedQueen21/pseuds/RedEyedQueen21
Summary: Finn knows that he isn't a hero. He's not someone who can be relied on or even trusted. He knows this despite what Poe tells him. He has no future and can't remember anything from his past. He believes this all till he's given the chance to prove otherwise.A story where Finn discovers he's a hero, a Jedi, and a prince in one hell of a adventure with new friends.





	1. Chapter 1

_I wake up feeling like you won't play right_ _  
I used to know, but now that shit don't feel right_

Prologue

              Grievous looked calm in his prison cell. Poe couldn’t fathom what types of thoughts, if any at all, where passing through the humanoid’s head. He felt something within his gut hope that the man’s death would be a painful and slow one.

              Poe slammed his hand hard against the prison bars. “Where is he?” he yelled. He didn’t dare take a step back as Grievous looked up and uncrossed his legs, settling both feet on the ground.

“Where is who?” the voice asked tauntingly. Poe could imagine the devilish sneer behind the mask.

“You know who!” Poe shouted, gripping the bars tightly. “I know he spoke to you last! What did you tell him?”

Grievous tilted his head to the side, looking as if he were examining Poe. “He left.” Grievous stated simply, more to himself than at Poe. “Looks as if Naz had it in him all along.” Grievous mumbled.

“What?!” Poe barked, looked crossed. He pointed at finger through the bars. “If you did anything to hurt him or chase him away I will kill you!” Poe shouted, he could feel something in his veins began to sting as his lungs began to feel cinched.

Grievous was suddenly in front of him. “Tsk, tsk, Dameron. You wouldn’t want to join the dark side now would you?” Grievous sounded belated. “What would Shara Bey think?”

Poe’s punch was dead on to the face, leaving Grievous stumbling back.

_Clank_

Poe only felt the sting in his fist for a few seconds before the shock washed over him. Grievous’s mask was completely gone. Leaving the being exposed for what they truly were.

Poe’s voice caught in his through. The feeling in his fist ebbed away as he found his voice.

“What the hell?!”

 

In an X-wing that was flying miles away from Poe and D-Qar, Naz could only let his head fall back against his seat as he finally settled the plane after nearly losing control of it and colliding with an asteroid. He wiped away the trickle of spit from his mouth after he finished vomiting.

He could only look up at the window to see his reflection barely there.

Odd how that was fitting for a time like this.

He wanted to cry. He wanted to scream. He wanted to send the X-wing crashing into Kylo Ren’s face personally.

“Who am I?” he asked out loud.

 

 

"You're not supposed to be out of bed yet!" Finn nearly jumped, adjusting his shirt back down to look at a worried Poe standing by the door.

“I know.” He whispered pulling his shirt back up to look at his scar. “Couldn’t stay still anymore.”

He heard Poe sigh, already imagining him crossing his arm in annoyance. “You need your rest though, Finn.”

Finn turned to him and smirked, something in him felt that Poe’s concern was from a place of pity. “I think a month and a half in a coma is plenty.” He said sourly. It had only been a few weeks since he woke up from his coma and he was already feeling useless. It didn’t help to know that Rey was out there with R2-D2 and Chewie, doing what they could do for the resistance.

He knew that Rey had tried to talk to him, more so now that he was awake, but he had been avoiding her. He knew why.

He just couldn’t face it yet.

As if he was reading his mind Poe commented that “Rey called for you again.”

“So.” Finn’s voice was hallow and harsh, he couldn’t face her yet.

Poe sat down tiredly on his hospital bed, “C’mon buddy, as much as I enjoy keeping you to myself, I know you miss her.”

“I don’t.” Finn breathed out, flinching as he touched his wound. He had had a rough few weeks since getting up, between physical therapy and everyone on the base wanting to know his “true” intentions, Finn had felt drained on top of feeling helpless. He still couldn’t look General Organa in the eyes.

Poe caught his face twist in pain. “Liar.” He walked over to the table by the bed and pulled out a small jar of the bacta the med droid advised to use to numb the pain. “C’mon.” 

Finn walked closer to Poe and turned around, exposing his entire back to the pilot who gave a low whistle. “It’s healing up pretty nice!”

“Liar.” Finn snorted as he felt Poe apply the gel and cover it with bandages. “I don’t know why General Organa had decommissioned me yet.” He mumbled to himself, unaware that Poe had heard him loud and clearly.

“Hey!” Poe turned him quickly around, “I told you, that isn’t how things work here!” Poe pulled him closer, lifting the younger man’s chin so as to make him look at him directly. “I know you want to get back out there to prove yourself, but you don’t have to. You’re already a hero Finn.”

Finn pulled his face away from Poe’s hold. “I’m no hero.” If he were he would have been able to save the villagers on Jakku, Han, and Rey. But he had failed them.

He failed them.                                                                                                                 

He wasn’t a hero.

(Much less a big deal)

“You’re my hero.” Poe said solemnly, reaching out to touch Finn’s shoulder.

Finn huffed out a smile, grabbing Poe’s hand and giving it a squeeze.

He hadn’t cared much to talk to any of the medical staff that came to his room and was pretty tight lipped when the General came to visit.

So far it was only Poe who was able to bring him out of his funk. He owed the man a lot and was growing very fond of him. Poe did make him believe he could be a hero.

But he knew the reality of it.

He simply wasn’t.

“Thank you Poe.”

Poe smiled, “I mean it. If it weren’t for you I would have been dead. You started all of this Finn. If it weren’t for you Ren would be still be destroying planets, I don’t think we would be existing right now. Can you at least accept that?” Poe asked him.

Finn wanted to accept it. Maybe he was the catalyst for all this?

Finn closed his eyes, all of the tension in his body was poised right at his wound. He felt warm arms wrap around him and then felt a warm solid chest on top of his. “Aww, buddy. I’m not going to let you wallow in misery and what ifs, I owe you my life. We all do.”

Finn allowed himself for a moment to be hugged by Poe, he buried his face into the crook of Poe’s neck and let himself believe he had done it all. He pulled Poe closer, “It’s not that simple Poe.” He mumbled into Poe’s neck.

Poe squeezed him tighter if that was possible. “It’s not, you’re right. But I promise you that I will forever have your back and your front.” He joked, causing Finn to laugh as he pulled away.

Poe took Finn’s face into his hands, “I promise you that, okay?”

Finn bit his lip, he was aware that for the month and half that he was in a coma Poe had sat by his chair and never left his side only unless ordered by the general to go on a mission according to the droids on the medical staff. Knowing that Poe was on his side and cared for him like that made Finn believe he had found someone who truly loved him.

(Besides Rey?)

(No, not Rey)

He blinked back the tears that were threatening to fall for the girl he had once considered a friend.

(Family?)

He felt Poe brush away one stray tear with his thumb. “Finn?”

“I’m alright.” He answered pulling away.

Finn could feel the other man staring and studying him as he shuffled back into bed. “What is it?”

Poe shook his head, not realizing he had been staring at Finn. “Nothing, it’s” he sighed again. “I probably shouldn’t-“

The entire medical unit’s lights began to blink red before a shrill alarm broke their conservation.

Finn quickly covered his ears, “WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?”

Poe looked confused, “WARNING BELLS. SOMETHING IS GOING ON.”

BB-8 skidded quickly into the room and started to beep furiously at Poe. Finn looked down to see the little droid actually look scared. “WHAT?” Poe repeated looking scandalized.

“WHAT DID IT SAY?”

“BLUE SQUAD FOUND ONE OF THE WANTED MEN FROM THE EMPIRE!” Poe explained, looking a bit green.

“IS IT PHASMA?” Finn asked, hoping it was his past squadron leader.

“NO, ITS-” the bells and flashing lights suddenly stopped to everyone’s relief.

Finn breathed out a sigh of relief as the ringing in his ears subsided, “Who is it?” he asked fiercely, as he followed Poe out the med unit.

BB-8 bleeped out more noises, sounding more high pitched and alarmed. Poe shook his head, “Do you know General Grievous?’ Poe asks cautiously.  

A sick feeling of confusion, doubt, and panic churned in Finn’s stomach. Of course he knows _General Grievous._ Everybody, regardless of their age and rank in the First Order, knew who General Grievous was.

Is?

“He’s alive?” Finn asked shocked, his extremities going numb. No one from the First Order mentioned Grievous in the present tense when talking about him. It was all history books and lessons where he was remembered by name and actions. Although, it was the First Order…secrets was what they did best.

Having a high figure from the Clone Wars and Galatic Empire made him sick. “How the kriff is he still alive?” Finn wondered out loud as he followed a stunned and green looking Poe to the canteen where all Resistance personal and workers were called to.

Finn had never seen General Organa angry before. Upset? Definitely. Confused, yes. Frustrated, well…always. This was a war.

But this was the first time he had ever seen her _mad._ Her face was stern, her eyes dark, and head held high as she addressed the large crowd of Resistance fighter.

“Explain yourself, Grievous.” Organa ordered. “Do not expect that we will show you mercy just because you claim to have a change of heart.” Organa stated through clenched teeth.

Grievous surveyed the crowd, his gold slit eyes wondered through till Finn felt them rest on _him._ Did he recognize Finn somehow?

Did he know that Finn was a Stormtrooper?

Finn couldn’t help but tense, his whole body felt as if he were being drowned in cold water as Grievous continued to stare right at him.  

“By all means, Princes-“

“It’s General.” Organa corrected him in a sharp tone.

Grievous still looked at Finn as he continued to speak.

“My mistake, General Organa.” He tilted his head to the side as if studying Finn. “I am here to help fix a wrong.” He stated simply. “I know the Empire has been dead for some time now and to be honest, I don’t believe in the First Order as much as I would have like to. It’s not the same energy anymore. They are more desperate to hang on to an ideal government that isn’t capable anymore.” 

Finn pursed his lips for a moment, that was an interesting statement and it made him feel unsure of Grievous more so.

“Are you stating that you wish to no longer be affiliated with the First Order?” Orgnana asked curiously.

“I never was affiliated with the First Order.” Grievous corrected her. “I don’t care to be affiliated with them. There whole actions and goals…it’s not right.”

If it were possible his staring into Finn’s soul intensified.

“If it’s possible, I wish to stay with the Resistance where I can be of some use and rest in peace.”

The crowd began to speak amongst themselves, a cacophony of voices began to rise at the idea of a known killer wanting to stay on the base.

“Quiet!” Organa ordered the base. Slowly the voices began to die down, but the atmosphere was tense. Finn finally broke his eye contact from Grievous to look around. Everybody looked ready to battle Grievous. Poe even looked ready to fight next to him.

Organa pressed her lips together for a moment, a thoughtful look passing her features. “You’re dying?”

Grievous nodded, “Yes.”

Organa looked bewildered and finally turned to Akbar, who looked perplexed. “You’re a machine.” She stated simply when she turned back around.

A few people in the crowd snickered, while a few made open threats to Grievous.

Grievous, didn’t raise to the bait, he calmly explained himself. “I wasn’t always a machine General. I was once an organic matter, parts of me still are. Including my heart.”

“He has one?” a female voice broke through the crowd.

“I am dying.” Grievous stated simply, “I know that very few on this base would have any sympathy for me, to which I would understand why. But I wanted to do something right before I am to pass away.”

He finally turned to Organa, “You, more than anybody here, would understand why.”

Finn looked at Organa. Her eyes became less stern and glazed with anger, she finally unfolded her arms as she looked back to Akbar.

She walked to Akbar and another commander and whispered something to the both of them. Akbar’s face said it all.

“He’s staying.” Finn whispered.

He looked back at Grievous who was now staring back at Finn again. 

_Now don’t you close your eyes,_

_But stay woke._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea how long this story will be but I want to write it.  
> I want to write a positive Finn centric story so I hope Finn fans like this story and were it's headed.
> 
> Lyrics from Redbone by Childish Gambino.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn could only just see beady yellow eyes stare back at him as he felt something in him that was forcing him to not look away from Grievous. The machine’s eyes were still haunting him as his thoughts race as to why Grievous seemed to only have eyes for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics from the song "Devastated" by Joey Bad$$

_Trying to be my best each day until I'm laid to rest_

Finn couldn’t help but just stare down at his food as the rest of the Resistance fighters argued and talked amongst themselves about Grievous being allowed to stay on the base.

“ _It’s a trap_!”

“ _He’s not really sick, it’s just a sick ploy!_ ”

“ _A millions credits that it’s just a ruse to allow the First Oder time to get us back!_ ”

Finn could only see beady yellow eyes stare back at him as he felt something in him that was forcing him to not look away from Grievous. The machine’s eyes were still haunting him as his thoughts raced as to why Grievous seemed to only have eyes for him.

_‘Do I know him?‘_

_‘Have we met before?’_

Finn could feel the shiver race down his spine at the thought of him and Grievous having a history. The First Order was known, renowned really, for reconditioning their soldiers. He couldn’t be sure if he ever was reconditioned, he couldn’t remember most of his time at a Stormtrooper and felt that the days leading up to the battle on Jakku were a hazy dream.

“AURGH!” Finn let out a muffled scream as he felt something scalding hot spill down his back, making his almost healed up scar singe and burn. Before he could turn to see who or what the culprit was, Poe had already jumped from his seat and was on the floor fighting someone that Finn didn’t know or recognize.

“Poe!” Snap and Jess pulled off their friend quickly as he continued to pummel the stranger in the face. Kare and Iolo pulled Finn back to look at his back. Iolo was cautious as he pulled up Finn’s shirt to look at his scar.  
Finn held his breath as the friction and heat stung his scar. He could feel Iolo seethe and heard Kare swear, “How is it?”

Kare shook her head, “Not too bad. I think it was caf, It got into your bandages.”

Iolo looked furious, “His skin is starting to become inflamed.” He reported as he took his cup of water. “This might sting.”  He set the cold cup against Finn’s skin.

Finn couldn’t help but hiss at the pain. He felt Kare pat his arm, “I’ll go get the first aid kit, you’re gonna need new bandages.”

“Thanks.” He mumbled as he watched Poe being held back by Snap and Jess. The culprit, a man with short cropped brown hair and a dark burn across his face was being held back by other fighters.

“He deserved it!” the man shouted at Poe and the rest of the crew. “You don’t know what kind of things those sick animals do!”

“THAT’S ENOUGH!” Poe shouted as he struggled to get out of Snap and Jess’s hold. “YOU SHUT THE HELL UP!”

“What? You think this wasn’t planned? First the traitor and now Grievous? You don’t think the First Order would just let defects walk away without repercussions?”

“That’s enough Hiser!” a female voice shouted as the crowd started to form around them. Finn could feel bile rising in his throat as more eyes stared at him. The burns on his back became secondary pain to the humiliation he was now facing.

“No!” Hiser shouted, “We shouldn’t even entertain the idea that First Oder rejects want to _suddenly_ join the Resistance!”  He looked around the crowd, “We’ve all heard and witnessed stories about how the Empire hid their fanatics amongst the Senate and look how that ended for them! For us!” He pointed his finger at Finn, “We should take them out before they have the chance to ruin us!”  


“That’s quite enough from you Hiser.” A strict voice stated, breaking through the tension created by Hiser.

Poe’s eyes went wide and Snap became flustered immediately as a woman with a stern and pointed face came through the crowd.

“Chief Sonnel.” Snap stood at attention. Both he and Jess’s restraint on Poe became lax as Sonnel stepped closer to them.  Finn could only watch in amazement as the crowd began to slowly back away from them. Sonnel’s presence created a calm throughout the canteen as even Hiser looked embarrassed and concerned about how Sonnel was looking at him. 

“Hello Wexley. Dameron…always getting into yourself into trouble as always.” She smiled at them.

 “If I didn’t get into trouble then it wouldn’t be normal as always.” Poe pipped up as Sonnel gave Jess a hug. She threw Poe a knowing smirk at his quip.

“What-what brings you here?” Jess asked star struck as they pulled away from each other.

Sonnel pushed her hair back as she surveyed the crew. “I have some news for the General and I was pleasantly surprised to hear that Grievous was found and had been granted asylum here with us.” She explained, shrugging at reaction of the team.

“Along with other defect traitors.” Hiser stated, his voice dark and petulant.

Sonnal’s dark eyes went to Hiser and then to Finn, who was now having his bandages changed by Iolo.

“Are you okay?” Sonnal asked him, glancing at his scar which was now blistering on the top where the caf had touched it.

Finn gave a soft “Yeah.”, he didn’t dare look at her. He could feel his hands shake, adrenaline was piercing through him as he fought off the urge to punch Hiser in the face.

 _‘It wouldn’t help me, it would just prove his point.’_ Finn thought bitterly as he forced himself not to crack his knuckles. The tension was building up again.

“Hiser, I’m reporting you to your superior for assault.” Sonnel said out loud, she pointed a finger at his direction. “And if you dare say something to me to defend your actions, I will order your termination from your post.”

Hiser closed his mouth immediately and gave only last glance in disgust at Finn’s direction as he allowed himself to be pulled away from his spot by friends.

Poe was right by Finn’s side in a heartbeat. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“No.” Finn admitted in soft growl, Poe’s hand on his shoulder was a slight saving grace. He could feel Poe’s fingers clench around his shoulder, a live anchor that was helping him ease into something that resembled sanity. “I hope he does get terminated.” Finn whispered.

Poe nodded, “Same.”

“Who was she?” Finn asked after thanking Kare and Iolo for caring for his burn.  
“Senior Chief Greer Sonnal.” Snap proudly explained as they all went back to their table to continue eating. Finn pushed back his plate of untouched food, his appetite completely gone from not being able to get his revenge on Hiser.

‘ _Let it go. He’s not worth your sanity or friends.’_ Finn thought as he half listened to Snap explaining that Sonnal used to Leila’s personal pilot and then assistant before moving up to adviser. According to Snap, Sonnal was basically Leila's personal spy.

“If she’s here, then something is definitely going down.” Kare concluded.

“Does anyone know what’s going on with the senior staff?” Jess asked as she looked around, her eyes setting on Iolo, since he was the most experienced and had served personally with Leila. 

“Don’t look at me.” Iolo said with his hands up. “All I know is that all the senior staff are still talking. Grievous has been put in solitary confinement till they know what to do with him.” He shrugged, knowing that his explanation wasn’t exactly what his friends were hoping to hear.

Silence fell over the table for a short moment till Kare asked “You don’t think he really came here as a distraction for the First Order, right?” 

“He isn’t.” Finn answered without realizing. He perked his head up as he realized he had spoken up.

“What makes you say that?” Snap asked, his tone holding no malice or accusation.

“I don’t.” Finn answered honestly. “I just know that the First Order doesn’t do distractions. Not petty distractions at least. They go for the kill and they make their point clear.”

His words sounded more haunting than he realized, Finn could only blink helplessly as the group began to look at each other. Their faces unsure of how to take in Finn’s knowledge of the enemy.

“I shouldn’t have said that.” Finn sighed as he got up, he felt Poe’s hand cover his in an attempt to stop him from leaving.

“No! It’s fine Finn. We all know what the First Order is capable of. You didn’t say anything we didn’t know. We just…sometimes it’s hard for us to hear it out loud at times.” Poe explained himself, hoping that it was enough to cajole Finn to sit back down.

It wasn’t.

Finn slowly removed his hand from Poe’s grasp. “I think I should just go.” Finn felt himself being pulled back by his forearm by Poe. “Poe, I’m okay.” he tried to assure his friend.

Poe looked crestfallen as he offered to walk Finn back to the med unit, where Finn would be staying till he was given a room.  
“It’s alright.” Finn explained as he held Poe’s hand for a moment.

“I’ll check in on you later then.” Poe promised as he let Finn go.

Finn felt exhausted as he laid down slowly on his bed. All his anger, frustration, and confusion lingered on his mind as he slowly fell asleep.

It was six hours later when Finn opened his eyes. Nothing felt out of the ordinary as he slowly got up, his back no longer stinging or in pain as he surveyed his room. It was dark, with only the glow of the hallway light cracking through his door to let him see bits of his room.

Finn looked at the clock mounted on the wall and groaned, it was too late to see if Poe was up. He almost felt disappointed that the other man didn’t come to check in on him or wake him up.

He stood up, feeling woozy and dazed as he walked out. He blinked away tears as the light burned his eyes. He didn’t know where to go really, the cafeteria was closed and he didn’t want to wake up Poe.

Finn continued to walk with no place in mind, not paying attention to the fact that he had yet to bump into anyone, be it a human, alien, or droid. There was always night guards and staff walking around the camp grounds to make sure the base was running and guarded, but everywhere Finn turned there was no soul around.

He found himself in front of a solid metal door in a building he had never stood in before.

Finn shook himself out as his fear became tenfold. He finally realized the lack of guards and personnel around what  was obviously a detention center.

He pulled the door, it opened easily, leading to a row of other solid metal doors. A long row as far as Finn could tell looked sterile and empty.

He could feel his heart pound and his breath quickened as his body took control of his actions. He slowly closed the door, flipping on a switch which flooded the hall in bright white lights. “I have a bad feeling about this.” Finn mumbled to himself as he started to walk down the hall.

“It’s you.” A rough and gruff voice broke through. Finn faced a solid metal door and could hear slight noises from behind it. He looked to see a small touch pad glow right beside the door, before he could touch it the metal door changed to metal bars, revealing Grievous sitting cross legged on a small cot. “I hoped to see you soon.”

“Something tells me you were _planning_ to see me soon.” Finn mused as he stepped back from the cage.

Grievous cocked his head to the side, his reptilian eyes blinked slowly as he took in Finn’s hesitation to step closer. “I might have taken some liberties to get you to come see me.”

“What sort of liberties?” Finn asked defensively.

“That’s what I like about First Order captains, they always try to fight till the bitter end even when they are clearly the winner.” Grievous chuckled.

Finn was perplexed, “I was a Stormtrooper, not a captain. I never even fought in an actual battle before.”

Grievous’ eyes gleamed in the white light, causing Finn to take further steps back. The half droid and reptile finally got up and walked closer to Finn, till he was at the bars. His droid finger wrapped around the bars as Finn for some reason decided to step closer this time. Something about Grievous’ knowing stare made him feel curious.

“That’s what they want you to remember.” Grievous sneered, his voice becoming horse. “You really believe you were just FN-2187? Do you really just believe that Kylo Ren took your leaving so personally or easily because you weren't an actual asset? Or at least an actual risk?”

Finn peered at Grievous, the droid had too much contention in his voice for Finn to find this to be some ploy. “Who are you?” he asked.

Grievous leaned back from the bars, “I’m a nobody. I was once, like you, something great and honorable till they stripped me of everything I truly loved and admired about myself and my heritage. Just like you.”  He let go of the bars and started to walk back to his cot. “I am no enemy to either side.”

“The Resistance thinks you are.” Finn stated.

Grievous actually laughed, “The Resistance and the Senate are fools, each in their own special way. As is the First Order. They all think the other is wrong and that they can win this ridiculous war that has been going on since the dawn of time.”

Finn became resolute, “There has been peace before in the galaxy, there can be peace again.” He stated in a matter of fact tone.

“Peace is only reached if those who fight for it are honest about it.” Grievous countered, “Do you know how many lives have been lost due to this petty war?”

“Too many.” Finn answered solemnly, his thoughts going immediately to Slip and those who were killed in Jakku in front of him.

Grievous nodded his head in agreement, “And yet,” he gasped, “not enough for either side to realize there will forever be war between the good and evil, light and dark. There will never be peace for either side because war is futile and because those in power are blind to the fact that bitterness is never resolved. It’s just hidden. That’s how the First Order rose through the ashes of the Galactic Empire and that's how the Senate fell to their deaths.” Grievous explained, his eyes becoming wistful before shaking off the memories. “You didn’t leave because you were afraid, you left because you always knew that you were not a part of them, like they have always wanted you to be.”

Finn stood silently for what felt like forever before he found his voice. “How do you know that?” he asked, his voice hushed.

“Because I know you.” Grievous stated simply. “You’re not them and you’re not this either.” Grievous sounded smug as fear began to go through Finn.

Grievous _knew_ Finn.

But Finn had no memory of this man, what so ever.

“Then what am I?” Finn asked, his grip on the bars tighten as his impatience began to grow.

“Are you really willing to know?” Grievous asked, he slouched down till he was face to face with Finn. “Are you really willing to know where you came from and the reasons as to how you ended up here of all places?”

Finn wanted to say yes but he knew better, “What’s the catch?” he asked.

Grievous cocked his head again as he slouched further down, “I cannot say honestly if there will be a catch.” Finn had a feeling that Grievous was actually being honest with him. “I cannot promise you there will be a price to pay for your memories, that is up to you.”

“What do you mean?”

“There is a lot that you don’t know, a lot of it will anger you and will test your abilities to not go to the dark side. At best, I can only state that you have made it this far with the force guiding you, you can survive the rest on your own if you choose to do so.”

Finn couldn’t decipher any of that. He couldn’t even figure out if Grievous was concerned about him, but he knew one thing: he had to find out who he really was.

“I’m willing if you are.” Finn said confidently. He jutted out his chin to look determined as Grievous gave him a questionable look before making his decision that Finn was ready.

“If that is the case, all I can say is may the force be with you.” Grievous warned him as Finn stood at attention, ready for what Grievous had in mind. “This may hurt, a lot.”

“What will?”

Grievous laid a single finer in the middle of Finn’s forehead.

The electric energy surged and burned through Finn as he let out a blood curling scream. His brain felt as though something was slicing through it, something hot and sharp as millions of images blurred through his eyes.

He must of have fainted, when he came to Finn found himself staring _up_ at Grievous on the floor. The man looked down at Finn with concern once he realized Finn was awake Grievous slowly pulled Finn upright without a word.

“What was that?!” Finn yelled, no not Finn.

His name wasn’t Finn.

It wasn’t even FN-2187. It was something else.

It was... Naz?

His name was Naz.

Finn could feel a panic attack beginning to form within him. “What, what’s going on?” he panted as fear began to grip him.  
“You’re starting to remember bit and pieces, slowly but in time you will remember everything that they did to you and you’ll remember your family.” Grievous explained as he helped Finn sit down on his cot.

“My family?” Finn could see bit and pieces of something from his past, he could remember a long braids, many of them and the smell of bloom fruit. “Where is my family?” Finn asked as he gripped the droid by his front of his cape.

“I cannot give you that answer clearly.” Grievous actually sounded disappointed, “The only thing I can tell you is that you will not be able to stay here and figure out your past in the ways you would want to, as your friends here would want you to.”

Finn nodded wordlessly, they both knew what that meant. Finn finally stood up once he got his bearing together, “I don’t know if I’m capable of doing this by myself though.” Finn told him after a while. “On the other hand though, I don’t know if I’m willing to risk losing Poe or anyone else for that matter on a hunch about my past.”

“It’s more than just a hunch!” Grievous nearly yelled at him, “This is your heritage and linage at stake. This is something that will show both sides of this petty war that no group is stronger than the other and that there is no war between good and evil, there is just collateral damages in the forms of lives.” He rested his hands on Finn’s shoulder to guide him out of the cell. “Just promise me one thing.”

“What’s that?” Finn asked cautiously.

“Don’t look back.”

Finn nodded, unsure about how to keep such a promise due to him going out to discover his past. He turned to see Grievous walking back to his cot, the bars appearing out of nowhere. “What about you?” Finn asked.  
“What about me?” Grievous countered.

“Aren’t you going to escape? There’s nothing stopping you from leaving.” Finn pointed out.

Grievous sat down again on his cot and crossed his legs, “I’ve done too much running, and I was not lying when I told the general that I am dying. I want a place to rest and I want to know that I left this miserable galaxy doing at least one right thing that I will not regret.”

Finn didn’t know how to feel leaving Grievous behind, “You could come with me.”

Grievous shook his head, “You’re already breaking your promise. You’re looking back.”

Finn nodded, he knew he would have gotten that response. He stepped back as the bars formed into the metal door again.  He gently touched the now solid door, “Thank you.”

He was sure he heard Grievous say “May the force be with you, Naz.”

 

_Now we on our way to greatness_

_And all that ever took was patience_


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Memories are hitting Finn fast as he tries to follow his "gut", along the way he realizes how deep the First Order has impacted him and unknowingly meets the heroes of the past.

_You'd be surprised how many truths you can hide in flows_

_I'm listenin' to this beat with my eyelids closed_

 

Finn looked around to find the Resistance hanger empty, at first he felt a little weird sneaking into the hanger to steal an X-wing. He thought for a moment about taking Poe, but then thought better of it before settling for a blue squadron X-wing. It was the middle of the night but Finn felt no fear when he packed a bag with food and few items of clothing, he wasn’t sure about where he was going but he knew he had to trust his gut.

And his gut was telling him he had to leave.

_‘Anarch Point’_

Finn wasn’t sure why that seemed to be going through his mind. It was the nickname for a place where was rumored where new Stormtrooper recruits where brought and trained till the First Order believed they were ready.

Finn could feel his pals begin to sweat as blurry memories began to bleed into his vision. He closed his eyes and fell into the pilot seat, trying to contain his breathing and heartbeat as he began to feel nauseas. He closed his eyes tighter, doing his best to focus on a single memory. General Grievous didn’t give him instructions as to focus on a memory or what the possible side effects could be.

All he knew was that the First Order was responsible for “erasing” his memories.

‘ _Reconditioning._ ’

Finn felt the nausea tenfold. He was reconditioned, but how many times? There were blurry images of faces that he couldn’t decipher and bits of conversations he couldn’t recall.

Finn took a deep breath and opened his eyes, his vision was watery as he grabbed ahold of the yoke. It was cold and leathery in his hands…

\-------

_“Great job AX-9132,” his trainer complimented him. “You’re a pro at this.”_

_AX-9132 had only been behind the wheel of a TIE-fighter for an hour and had already scored the top marks of his class for firing and emergency landings. AX grinned smugly as he looped the TIE-fighter twice causing three X-wings to nearly crash._

_He knew the loop looked impressive enough for the higher ranks to ease off of him about his lack of wanting to harm anybody. He wasn’t in the mood to fight with Ben or Hux again…especially Hux. He nearly broke the man’s hand after Hux personally challenged him to a hand to hand combat. As if he didn’t believe that AX could take him or could be better than him. While he could admit he was shorter than Hux and (maybe) younger, he was in much better shape than the suck up._

_It took exactly .5 seconds for AX to break Hux’s knuckles (both really)._

_Ben looked slightly impressed as AX was assigned to Phasma (who looked relieved to be assigned to him)._

_“Don’t think I missed what you did though.” He heard Phasma tell him. “If you know who…”_

_AX shrugged as he managed to dart two more X-wings. “I’ll be good.”_

_“Good, I don’t feel like seeing you in that chair again.” Phasma told him, sounding stressed._

_“What chair?”_

_There was no response, AX didn’t feel like pushing the question and continued to the mission at hand._

\--------

Finn could only let his head fall back against his seat as he finally settled the plane after nearly losing control of it and colliding with an asteroid. He wiped away the trickle of spit from his mouth after he finished vomiting.

He could only look up at the window to see his reflection barely there.

Odd how that was fitting for a time like this.

He wanted to cry. He wanted to scream. He wanted to send the X-wing into Kylo Ren’s face personally.

“Who am I?” he asked out loud.

The images where becoming clearer now, he was AX-9132 and ZL-0193 and LS-0321 on top of being FN-2187. He could remember the titles and remember a room that held many children of all life forms.

Anarch Point was real, but it wasn’t called Anarch point. That’s what the children called it when you were there because everything was anarchy. You would be punished for disobeying any of the captains, guards, and droids. Finn could feel his stomach clench at the memory of watching a young boy with red hair being dragged out the room with two large droids, he was unconscious and bleeding.

That’s where the First Order took all the new “recruits”, Finn couldn’t recall first arriving at the base but could remember being assigned to a group of twenty kids, all crying to go back home and remembering large black droids that would taser them if they attempted to talk back.

He was sure that the base still existed.

He _knew_ that base existed.

 

Poe woke up to the sounds of a hysterical BB-8 at 6 in the morning. Poe groaned in annoyance as he first tried to tell his droid to hush but then BB-8 said something that woke him up immediately.   


“HE WHAT?” Poe nearly shouted as he quickly got up and ran out his room to General Leia’s office. He skidded to a stop when he found that all the senior ranks were already there.

“What happened?” Poe asked, leaving simple pleasantries behind for questions. General Leia raised a brow at his behavior but answered his question anyway.

She cocked her head towards the security screens to show all of the night staffers standing still, their faces blank and their bodies rigid as another screen showed Finn walking attentively to the Resistance’s prison cells.

“What’s he doing?” Poe asked slowly as he watched in horror Finn somehow opened the always locked door to the prison and walked up to General Grievous’ cell.

“Did anyone ever tell him where Grievous was?” Sonnal asked slightly unnerved.

The group shook their heads “no”. Poe could feel Leia eye him steadily as he continued to watch, jaw unhinged.

Finn was actually having a conversation with Grievous. “There’s no sound?!” Poe asked annoyed.

Leia shrugged, “There is, you don’t believe that we wouldn’t put workings microphones in the prisons?” Leia went back to watching Finn and Grievous talk. “It’s interesting that Grievous would be so willing to meet with Finn in the open, knowing how well equipped the Resistance is.” Her tone was borderline teasing and knowing.

It was the unspoken permission he needed from the General to kick Grievous’ ass.

Poe marched over to the prison cell, ordering that the guards leave him and Grievous alone with no witnesses. He even refused BB-8 to accompany him.

Grievous looked calm in his prison cell. Poe couldn’t fathom what types of thoughts, if any at all, where passing through the humanoid’s head. He felt something within his gut hope that the man’s death would be a painful and slow one.

Poe slammed his hand hard against the prison bars. “Where is he?” he yelled. He didn’t dare take a step back as Iron Jaw looked up and uncrossed his legs, settling both feet on the ground.

“Where is who?” the voice asked tauntingly. Poe could imagine the devilish sneer behind the mask.

“You know who!” Poe shouted, gripping the bars tightly. “I know he spoke to you last! What did you tell him?”

Grievous tilted his head to the side, looking as if he were examining Poe. “He left.” Grievous stated simply, more to himself than at Poe. “Looks as if Naz had it in him all along.” Grievous mumbled.

“What?!” Poe barked, looked crossed. He pointed at finger through the bars. “If you did anything to hurt him or chase him away I will kill you!” Poe shouted, he could feel something in his veins began to sting as his lungs began to feel cinched.

Grievous was suddenly in front of him. “Tsk, tsk, Dameron. You wouldn’t want to join the dark side now would you?” Grievous sounded belated. “What would Shara Bey think?”

Poe’s punch was dead on to the face, leaving Grievous stumbling back.

_Clank_

Poe only felt the sting in his fist for a few seconds before the shock washed over him. Grievous’ mask was completely gone. Leaving the being exposed for what they truly were.

Poe’s voice caught in his through. The feeling in his fist ebbed away as he found his voice.

“What the hell?!”

Poe was staring into the face of a woman, young but not too young (around Finn’s age if he had to guess). Her black hair was cropped close to her scalp and she had scars across her face.

“Who the hell are you?” Poe asked, confusion and anger rising.

The woman slowly got up, clearly in pain as she did so. “I’m…I’m, I wanted to protect him….” The woman’s voice was soft. Something about her tone, it was too soft and weak, made Poe want to check the woman.

She looked pale. Poe had barely made it to her before she collapsed onto the hard floor.

\----

Finn couldn’t figure out how he knew where he was going, he just felt like he was going the right way. He could feel _something_ guide him to the base, he thought it for a moment that maybe he was remembering where he was going but then it occurred to him…

_‘The Force?’_

Could he be Force sensitive?

Finn bit back his fear and excitement in one gasp. He couldn’t be force sensitive? Not him…he lamented at his chance of being a Jedi and potential powers.

He wasn’t a hero.

Rey was.

He shook off the idea of being a Jedi, he had other things to worry about.

Like solving and sorting these memories.

And trying to figure out how to get into the base undetected.

“Aww crap!” he exclaimed as he could see the base coming up in the horizon. It looked small but Finn knew that the First Order did nothing small. They were a massive fascist dictatorship that reveled in the breakdown of …

So he might have been dipping into old books about the Galactic Empire while he was resting.

Regardless he knew that how the First Order was requiring and keeping their soldiers wasn’t right and the way Stormtroopers decided to stay wasn’t organic.

It was forced.

Finn took a deep breath in, focusing on his gut. He knew there had to be a way to get there.

‘ _I might regret this_.’ Finn thought as a plan started to form in his mind.

He knew it was long shot but it _felt_ right. He shut of the security sensors and rockets, making sure he was in stealth mode.

He could see other ships making their way into the base. He had time this _right_.

 

Two Stormtroopers were quickly alerted that an X-wing had entered the base and that it was sitting by itself.

Both Stormtroopers check the cockpit but it was surprisingly empty.

“Check around it.” Ordered the first trooper to the second. The second nodded and turned to check the other side of the fighter jet.  The first trooper was ready to walk back to the gates when he felt something shock him.

Finn dragged the first one, who was roughly his size behind the jet and quickly got into the Stormtrooper gear.

The drop off was huge, not as big as where he was stationed before the battle on Jakku, but it still left an impression. There were many Stormtrooper but different. They still were white armor but these troopers were wearing white and red gear, including a shield. Finn slowly picked up the shield, feeling the weight of it of it in his hands.

He started to have déjà vu, he had done this before. He had picked up a shield similar to this one before, he could remember bits and pieces, he didn’t know why he saw himself picking up the shield but he could remember being curious about it and then being apprehended by more troopers. He could remember using the shield to knock down two of them before dropping to the ground.

 _‘They’re hurting kids here.’_ Finn became furious, he could remember bunk mates younger than him with bruises and cuts on their arms, he was starting to remembering so many of them crying into the night about wanting to go home before passing out from exhaustion.

Suddenly the anger and rage that Finn felt turned into passion, he _was_ going to get there kids out of here.

Finn didn’t know how he knew where his communication device was but he was trusting his gut on this, “There are no unwanted guests, proceeding to checking the rest of the hanger.” Finn stated before getting the okay needed to find what he was looking for.

He followed his gut to where to go, he saw many children being dropped off, some crying and others passed out. He saw some older children being disciplined by senior officials and others being forced to spar against each other. The more he saw the more he was he could feel his stomach churn, he was here. They had done this to him as well, he could see the difference in the older children and young teenagers, they were reserved and fearful of the troopers and their captains versus the younger children who didn’t know how to conceal their feelings or actions.

Finn stopped in his tracks once he realized that it wasn’t just humans and aliens on the base, but droids too. A lot of droids.

The imperial guard droids where the ones he had to watch out for. He had never seen them in person till that moment. They were something that were in First Order history books, but nowhere else.

‘ _What_ aren’t _they bringing back_?’ Finn thought miserably, the Galactic Empire was a huge force that was difficult to topple and keep down. While he knew the First Order resources where in short supply (something that he definitely told the General) the fact that they were now building and using droids made him want to zip back to the Resistance base and report to the General.

The droids were massive, black and all metal with eyes that glowed an eerie white/yellow color. The monitor orbs, also black, were small but floated around watching everyone- beeping a few times if they found you interesting to look at. 

One continued to peer at Finn as he strutted through the halls, making sure to keep his glances short and his curiosity hidden.

One of the guard droids also looked as if it were peering at Finn and for a moment Finn thought he would be discovered but the droid continued to walk along side with another droid.

If Finn didn’t know any better he could have sworn that the guard droid _smirked_ at him.  ‘ _This is getting too weird.’_

Finn finally found what he was looking for after sometime walking, the security room. He checked the room to find that six officers were in the room. None of them were looking up from their screens as they continued to talk amongst themselves.

He needed to cut off the security cameras…

But how could the children and teenagers escape? He was sure that as soon as the security to the base were shut either the back up security panel would come on or the number of guards would triple to make sure no one escaped.

He had to make sure that the back up security generator was down before cutting off the main support system. Finn felt something in him guide him to where he believed the backup panels were, he might have walked this route before. He didn’t know how else he knew where to go and do.

Finn allowed himself to follow his gut, he was curious of what this feeling was. He had felt it before when he was at the battle on Jakku and again when wanted to leave Rey and Han on Takodana.

“GA-5539, what is your status?” asked a garbled sounding voice. “We need you to report in.”

“This is GA-5539, checking on entry statuses on any unwanted enemies.” Finn made up, he heard a brief pause before the voice came back, sounding confused.

“Those orders are now retired, GA-5539 report on your current status.”

Finn gritted his teeth, “Estimated 40 paces from security control.”

“GA-5539, you were ordered to go to the drill room to oversee class B-1024L. You were not given permission to go near security control.”

Finn could hear a low buzzing noise and a clanking sound getting closer “I’ll go there now then.” Finn lied, his fingers ready by his blasters.

There was no response for a while, another voice came on the comm. This one sounding firmer than the last, “What color is the sky?”

‘ _Oh Kriff_!’ Finn cursed to himself, he should have figured he would have been asked a clearance question. He decided to use the answer that his division used.

“Violet.” He answered, feigning confidence.

Another moment of silence. Finn could hear his heart beat as the whirring and clanging noises got closer. Panic began to flood Finn as the silence dragged on, the static buzzed on his comm device then cut off.

A louder voice rang through the hall, “We have an infiltrator in sector 643A.”

“KRIFF!” Finn snapped as he ran for it, he was in the clear until he turned around to check that he wasn’t being followed. “OOF!” Finn ran chest first into something metal and hard. A droid guard had blocked his path, a second back guard stood behind the first. Finn tried to calculate his chances of leaving alive, he could already imagine his death at the hands of the imperial droid guards, or worse, Kylo Ren himself.

The droid pulled off his helmet, “Conducting scan.” The droid stated in a pleasant voice. “My scan has showed that you are the traitor Stormtrooper with the former designation of FN-2187. Is this correct?”

Finn stayed quiet, he knew he couldn’t lie but it was giving him time to think of something. “Are you the Stormtrooper turned traitor resistance fighter? Former designation of FN-2187?” The droid asked again, a soft whirring noise emitting from his eyes glows and retracting.

Finn huffed out a breath, “I’m no longer FN-2187. The name’s Finn.”

The droid stepped back, “I see.” The droid lifted its arm, showing a small blaster appearing from his arm and pointed it directly at Finn.

Finn closed his eyes and then heard the shot, but felt nothing. The next noise was the sound of a metal object falling. Finn opened his eyes to see that the droid had turned around to shoot the second guard droid, the droid turned around again and shot behind Finn, taking down the two security orbs.

“What?”

“It’s nice to meet you Finn. My name is K2-SO. I was an imperial guard droid for the Galactic Empire.” K2-SO stated in a matter-of-fact voice.

“Was?” Finn asked incredulously, heart beating fast at the new information. Part of him believed this to be a joke, the other part, his gut, was telling him to trust the droid. “Wait, you mean the First Order?”

K2-SO shook his head ‘no’, “I was originally created for the Galactic Empire’s use, but my story as to how I ended up here is long and will reduce our chances of leaving here unscathed to seventeen percent.”

“We can’t leave just yet! The First Order has thousands of children and teenagers here, I’m not leaving till I know that they are safe and out of the First Order’s hands!” Finn demanded. For a moment he thought K2 would shoot him once he saw that K2 lifted his arm again, but he instead shot down two more droids.

“If that is the case, I will accompany you in your mission to release them. You will need backup, I intend to help.” K2 explained seriously as he shot down three orbs in succession with ease. “Let us go. Although I should state our chances of leaving will dwindle down to six percent.”  K2 shot down two more guards, “Seven percent.” He looked at Finn, almost smirking, “Even better.”

Finn still couldn’t believe what he was witnessing “We need to fine the backup generator in order to take out the security control panel. If we do that we have better chances of slowing down finding out what we’re doing.”

“I will take out the security control panels on your signal.” K2 informed him, passing Finn a small comm device. “It runs on a secure network only I can hear.”

Finn nodded and ran for the generator, he took the blaster that was on his belt to be safe. It was in the nick of time that he was able to get it out before two troopers were in front of him, Finn was able to knock them both down.

At this he knew that the whole base knew he was on their premise and in their uniform. And while many were on alert, Finn was able to trick a few troopers into running in the opposite direction from him. He was able to take out the generator, watching with a mix of horror and wonder the hall lights dim to blackness. He could hear locks unlock and doors slide open.

“Perfect.”

He grabbed a flashlight from a guard whom he had taken out and signaled K2 to take down the security room. The light made the halls a bit scarier to walk down through, Finn was now hypervigilant as he ran down the halls in a rush to help K2 almost skidding into two troopers without their helmet on.

“Don’t hurt us!” one yelled, he had a transparent blue face and the other was red with scales. They looked younger than Finn.

“Are you two trying to escape?” Finn asked. The red scales trooper looked defensive while the blue transparent one looked pensive.

“What is it to you?” Scales asked, her hand right on her weapon.

Finn held his hands up, signaling no harm. “I’m getting you all out. Took down the security room and generator. Can you two get word out that those who want to leave can leave now?”

The blue trooper looked awed and worried now, “You’re serious?”

Red trooper looked shocked. “You’re FN-2187!” she nearly shouted, her face broke into a large smile showing off many sharp pointed teeth. “We’ve heard about you! We thought you were dead.”

“Only dead to the First Order. Can you guys get word out or not?” Finn asked hurriedly.

Red trooper nodded, “I can alert cohort CB and TR, they’ve been dying to leave this place more than any co-hort.”

“Can anyone fly these ships?” Finn asked.

Blue trooper nodded and finally looked comfortable, “Yes. We’ve all been trained to fly. I can get co-hort PL and EE to help release the younger recruits.”

“How long do you think it could take everyone to leave?”

The red and blue trooper stood back, aghast that Finn would even ask such a question. “Give us 10 minutes, you’re gonna have the whole base be nearly empty.”

It took a second before blue trooper became afraid again, “What about BT?”

“Death Troopers?” Finn asked clarifying, he had heard that nick name before.

_“It’s yours, if you want it.” GD-2317 looked up to see his captain, Phasma, hold out the black helmet to him. He was being offered a chance to become commander of the Death Troopers._

_“The better to punch Hux with.” GD-2317 chuckled, he looked up to see Phasma actually smiling. It was nice when it was just the two of them. He could actually get his teacher to laugh when she wasn’t around Hux or Ben._

_“Ben is beside himself, really.” Phasma smiled, although her tone was sarcastic. Her smile soon began to fade as she stood next to GD. “You know if you don’t do this Snoke might let you survive the next one.”_

Finn shook his head as he vision began to clear. The red trooper and blue trooper where still in front of him worried as he massaged his head.

“You okay?” The blue trooper asked as he stepped closer to Finn. “You sort of faded out on us.”

Finn shook him off, “I’m fine. Just do what we planned. You guys have ten minutes.”

“Then what?” The red trooper asked, “what’s going to happen to the base? We can’t just let it sit here and give the First Order to start with a new crop of “recruits”.” Red explained.

Finn nodded, “I know. Just leave that to me and do what you guys said you would do.” Finn ordered them as he ran back to K2.

“Woah.” Finn skidded to a stop when he saw that K2 had taken out all of the workers and had managed to shut down the alarms and locks to each unit containing the cohorts.

K2 shrugged when he saw Finn take in the number of troopers and personnel, “You were taking too long. I was not optimistic about your return.”

“Ran into two retreating troopers, they said it would take ten minutes to get all the recruits off the base.”

“And the death troopers?” K2 questioned, “Shouldn’t we worry about them?”

“You’re worried?” Finn asked, smirking as he and K2 left to go back to the hanger. The halls were actually filled with troopers now, this time with their helmets off as they and recruits in First Order assigned off-duty uniform. The halls were mess as nearly the whole base rushed to leave the base. Finn’s hatred for the First Order flared as he noticed many of the recruits were holding children as young as three years old.

“I know it’s unsettling for you to witness this.” K2 spoke up as he watched the nerve in Finn’s forehead tick with every child he saw passing him.

Finn could feel a sort of energy pass through his veins, “Something tells me I’ve seen all this before.” It was the truth, the scene in front of him was all déjà vu as he saw recruits make it to the ships sitting in the hanger, from TIE fighters, shuttles, cruisers, and freighters. Every method of transportation in the hanger was being used to take the recruits out.

“The Death Troopers have been alerted to shut down off security on the base. We should leave if we are to distract them.” K2 suggested as Finn shucked off the Red Guard armor and put his jacket back on.

“Let’s go.” Finn decided as he and K2 went to the Y-wing, they found Red trooper at another cruiser. She informed them that no one on the base had decided to stay, even some of the senior officials believed that they could do better on their home planets or with the resistance. No one saw the First Order as a reason to stay after the hits they had suffered.

“At least it was an honest answer, I wasn’t expecting any of them to reassign themselves to the Resistance.” K2 spoke up as he and Finn watched Red trooper leave with a few younger children in a cruiser.   


“At least they have a fighting chance for survival.” Finn thought, he didn’t have a bad feeling about this. About the bas wanting to leave, “I think this is right.”

“Well it better be because we have the Death Troopers coming in 7 minutes. And that’s not including them going into hyper drive.” K2 warned darkly as he and Finn hopped in the fighter plane.

Finn watched as all the recruits began to fly off base, he would wait till he and K2 were the last ones.

“Two minutes.” K2 warned as they continued to watch the recruits fly off. Many of them going into cloaking mode and hyperdrive.

“And that would be them.” K2 pointed up as Finn took control of the Y-wing, he looked up to see five black shuttles coming towards him.

“Do you have a plan for this?” K2 asked, sounding unsure.

“I might,” Finn cracked his knuckles as he flipped two buttons on the yok. “You better buckle up because I don’t know how this might go.”

Finn led the Death Troopers to the opposite direction in order to give the troopers more time to get away.

“Stop! By order of the First Order, you are under arrest for absconding your post and the release of the First Order soldiers.” A mechanical voice boomed out through speakers.

“I’m impressed that they think we would listen after we just liberated their “soldiers”.” K2 mused as turned to see the shuttles gaining on them.

Finn believed he gave them enough time. “Ready?” he turned back to see K2 nod.  Finn pressed both buttons in order let the fighter plan release all of its proton torpedoes before going into hyperdrive-full force, the combination sent them flying faster into space. Neither of them could witness the flash of explosions taking place behind them as the torpedoes hit the shuttles.

 With all the commotion they missed seeing an asteroid hitting their wing.

 

Finn felt something soft before he opened his eyes to see a single white lamp above him. At first he thought he was back in the med unit at the resistance base, but the whole set up was wrong. The walls were red and white, the bed he was in was low to the ground.

“Awake from the dead I see.” Said a gruff but smooth voice. Finn slowly sat up to see an older man sitting across from him, he had a thin gray mustache and thinning black hair that was smoothed backed. He looked smug and interested in Finn. !”

Finn groaned as the pain from his back started to flare. “Where am I?”

“On my ship, easy there.” The man stated as he got up, supporting himself with a cane. “Finn, is it?”

Finn slowly nodded, he heard the door slide open to reveal a woman. She was tall, with dark bronze curly hair, her lips were painted a bright red color. Something about her seemed familiar to Finn, her eyes- dark and serious and deep set made him think of Solo for some reason.

“Bothering our patient, daddy?” The woman smiled at the older gentleman.

“Me? A bother? Never.” The man joked as the woman sat down next to Finn on the bed.

“Glad to see your awake Finn. We were getting worried.” The woman told him.

“We?”

The woman frowned, “Leia and your droid, not to mention Poe.”

It was a lot of information for Finn to handle in two seconds. He rubbed his face as he tried to sit back against the bed frame, with the help of the woman.

“My droid?” Finn had no idea who she was talking about, till he remembered the guard droid. “K2!” he shouted, nearly rolling off the bed.

The woman caught him by the shoulder and pushed him back, “He’s fine, enjoying some TLC.”

The man was laughing now, “Leia told me you were a spitfire. No wonder Poe thought to let you keep his mother’s jacket. Shara would have loved you.” The man stated in an endearing tone, his eyes soft as looked at Finn’s jacket.

Finn looked between the two of them confused, “I’m sorry, but who are you sir?”

The woman smiled, looking more like the older man than Solo. “Allow me to introduce my father, General Lando Calrissian.”

Calrissian smiled, “Good to meet you, Finn.”

 

_Thoughts keep flashin’ and I keep laughin’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics from "Lit" by Bas ft J Cole K Quick. 
> 
> Chapter is longer than the previous two, sorry about that.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn didn't have a lot of options really, it was either go back to the base or go find something that could lead him to his family and missing memories. He knew what he had to pick for himself.

_Somebody in a cultivated moment of distress composed themselves enough to artfully carve "Zoso" in his desk. They was probably thinking "fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!" in they head_

Leia answered the holo call quickly when she recognized the alert assigned to the call. “Lando?” Leia greeted her old friend gently as she sat down. Her old friend had become family over the years and someone she had trusted indefinitely when she began to realize that the Empire was not as gone and dead as the Senate had hoped or assumed.

“How are you, old friend?” Leia asked, casting a quick glance at his tungsten band that was on his left hand.  

“Taking my time, yourself?” Lando caught her glance and began to turn his ring gently.

“Its war out here, I haven’t exactly taken the time to grieve, more so having to accept it and move on. Not too sure if I’m accepting it or ignoring it just yet.”

Lando gave a small closed lip smile, his eyes full of understanding. “Maybe a bit of both?”

Leia almost missed the chuckle that escaped her lips, Lando had the ability to make her laugh and smile when she was at her worst and she appreciated that most about him.  “I’m glad I have a friend who cares to check in on me so frequently.”

Lando shrugged, “Well, consider this a break from the habit. I’ve got some news for you that you might like.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. Remember that hero kid of yours’? Finn?”

Leia nearly knocked over her seat when she stood up, it had been only a few hours since the base had sent out a search party to look for him. The girl posing as Grievous was unconscious when Poe alerted her about Finn flying off alone into the galaxy. 

“Yes. Have you seen him?”  She wouldn’t have been able to handle it if Finn turned out to be dead, she knew after all the base had endured and all the personal lose Poe would _lose_ it.

Lando chuckled, “I have him.” He smiled as he watched Leia nearly faint back in her chair.

“Really? Is he okay?”

“More than okay, your hero kid is something else. First he saves Poe and escapes the First Order, then he brings BB-8 back to you in one piece, manages to give you the information your team needed to take out the Death Star, took on your son head to head, and now he’s liberated the First Order recruitment base.”

Leia blanched immediately, “HE WHAT?”

“Told you, he’s something else.”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Finn shook his head, the action making him wince more as he looked between the woman and man, “I’m sorry, but who are you sir?”

The woman smiled, looking more like the older man than Solo. “Allow me to introduce my father, General Lando Calrissian.”

Lando smiled, “Good to meet you, Finn.” he nodded. 

Finn could feel himself become edgy, he knew the name. “As in the smuggler turned General Lando Calrissian?”

Lando bowed his head slightly, “The one and the same.” He said with a chuckle. “Glad to see up, kid. You had the whole base worried about you. Leia couldn’t believe that we found you.”

Now the woman was laughing, “I thought Poe was going to fly out here immediately when you told him.” She looked fondly at Finn, “I’ve never seen him so worried, you _must_ be something else.”

Finn bit the inside of his cheek, his stomach dropped at the mention of Poe. “Is he angry at me? Poe, I mean? I- I didn’t really say anything to anyone when I left.”

“He’s not mad at you kid, at least he didn’t seem that way to us. Just really worried. My daughter is right- you must be something else, I haven’t seen Poe this scared and worried for someone, except for his dad after his mother died.”  Lando mused, studying Finn with a look that made Finn feel more sheepish.

“I don’t think I introduced myself yet, I’m Ema.” Ema introduced herself with closed lip smile. “We’re glad you’re alive. You and K2-SO took on some hell of a bump when that asteroid hit your plane.”

Finn felt a pang of pain down his spine as he attempted to shift a bit to sit up better, Ema rushed to help him. “Thanks.” Finn said as felt her hand brush past his shoulders. “Uh, you guys didn’t to run into anyone else, did you?”

Lando actually laughed this time, “You mean the fleet of ships rushing out of Anarch Point?” he jested, “Yeah, we saw them. Rushed out of there quick like they had a slew of nexues running after them. We didn’t see any of them get hurt or taken out by the First Order planes, but we did happen to catch the end of them being blown up.” He winked, “Nice shot there, kid.”

“I don’t think Leia really believed us when we told her that you and K2-SO actually liberated a Stormtrooper training site.” Ema confessed, she patted Finn’s leg. “That was really brave of you Finn. I don’t think those children could ever thank you.”

Finn could feel the bile rise in his throat, he wasn’t a hero and he wasn’t brave. “Can I see K2?” he asked, desperate to change the subject.

Lando cocked his head to the side, confused as to why Finn was becoming jittery with them now. “Sure, kid.” He slowly got up while Ema got up and went to the door to call K2, who came out of the crash unscathed.  “Take all the time you need.” Lando told them as he and his daughter stepped out.

“Finn. How are you feeling?” K2 asked as he stood above Finn, Finn craned his neck to look up at the droid.

“Feeling okay, I guess.” He could feel the strain getting to him after a few seconds, the stretch was causing him to feel some irritation down his spine, “Is there any way you could sit on the bed?”

“I could if you want me to break said bed.” K2 slowly knelt down till he was somewhat face level with Finn.

“Is that actually comfortable?”  Finn asked, trying hard not to laugh as the tall robot looked unaccustomed to sitting in that position.

“No, so I suggest we have this conversation quickly before I have to ask General Calrissian and his daughter for oil.”

Finn bit his lip at the droid’s sour tone, K2 was a lot different from BB-8 and the other droids on the base. He was definitely the antithesis of C3-PO, that was for sure.

“I wanted to thank you, for helping and saving my back there. You saved my life and all of the recruits there.”

K2 nodded, “The thanks should go all to you Finn. You led the brigade, I just played second-fiddle.”

Finn shook his head, “It was more than that.” He adjusted himself so his body was turned fully to K2. “You saved my life, if I hadn’t run into you then it would have been another guard droid, I would be dead in a heartbeat.”

“Well if wasn’t for you, I would still be on that blasted base.” K2’s tone sounded genuinely irate, “It should be me thanking you for trusting me.”

“Why did you do it?” Finn asked cautiously, “You said that you were part of the Empire, not the First Order. Did-How did you-”

“How did I survive?” K2 completed his question.

Finn nodded.

“I survived, it wasn’t fair and it’s not fair that only I survived.”

“More droids?” Finn asked when the droid began to look sullen. It was an odd discussion to be having with a droid, K2’s whole body seemed laden with emotions and guilt that outweighed Finn’s any day. Finn couldn’t fathom having that much guilt and sadness simmering and engulfing inside oneself for over decades. 

“More people.”

Finn could only bit his lip at the hallow two worded sentence. “I’m sorry.” He finally said after a moment of silence. “Do you want or need to talk about it?” he offered gently.

K2 sighed, “It’s a long story, one that would only waste our time during our mission.”

“Can’t be that long, and there’s no mission for us. Or me for that matter.” Finn explained. “You can tell me your story.”

K2 eyes made a soft whirring noise. “I believe you do have a mission. Or was liberating a First Order recruitment training base a onetime thing?”

Now it was Finn’s turn to sigh, he rubbed the back of his neck, unsure how to answer. “To be honest with you, I don’t know I-I just. You know where you came from right?” Finn asked, fear and desperation now edging his voice.

K2 shrugged, “Of course.”

“Well I don’t.”

“What do you mean?”

“It means that I grew up knowing nothing about who I am or where I came from. I just got my memories back from General Grievous, of all people.” He ignored K2’s “WHAT?!” “I just remembered that I was trained on that base and there are more memories, I’m just trying to sort them all out.”

“So Finn isn’t your name, I’m assuming?” K2 clarified.

“No, it’s Nas.”

\-----------------------------------------------------

Poe could only look on as the med staff incubated and placed the unknown woman in a tank of bacta. Poe had a hard time feeling anything as he gently glazed the tank with his fingers as got better look at the woman, she looked pretty young but rough. Her dark skin was peppered in scars across her body, Poe couldn’t help but flinch at the large scaring that covered 30 percent of her lower body.

“She’s been through hell and back.” Dr. Kalonia silently took to Poe’s right as Leia took to his left side.

“Do we at least know who she is?” Poe asked the women.

“No.” Leia explained sadly, “Except that she’s really sick.”

“Will she survive?”

“No.” Kalonia stated softly as they all looked at the woman. “I sent her figures to get tested, hopefully the droids can find a hit.”

“Is there anything we can do?” Poe asked, “She came here for a reason.”

“And we don’t know if that reason is good or bad, Poe. She came in as General Grievous and managed to send Finn on some sort of death seeking scavenger hunt.” Leia reminded him pointedly. “She’s done a lot of damage in the small amount of time she has been here.”

 “By damage do you mean leading Finn to free prisoners of the First Order at their so called “Recruitment Base”?” Poe snapped.

A beat followed where all three looked at each other in awkward shock.

Poe was the first one to speak up, “I’m sorry.”

Leia let out a soft guffaw, “You meant it though.” Her brow slightly raised as Kalonia chose this time to leave the conversation.

“Yes. I did.”  Poe rubbed his face as the action that had occurred over the span of the day met up with him, he _missed_ Finn. “I-I just don’t understand any of this.”

“Join the club then Poe, because I know little of what’s going around here too.” Leia chided him gently, “I just know that there’s more we don’t know.” She jutted her thumb at the woman, “And she holds the key.”

It was later in the night when Poe could feel his muscles and bone punish him as he finally fell onto his bed. BB-8 beeped its concerns over how ragged Poe looked.

“I’m fine, buddy. I just need some rest.”

BB-8 beeped a few more things that Poe looked like he needed.

Poe nearly choked on his spit, “How is it that you only spent a few minutes with R2 and became that raunchy?”

BB-8 gave out a soft whir noise as its only response.

“Sure.” Poe rolled his eyes at his droid’s sarcasm.

They both gave out their goodnight as BB-8 powered down, Poe just laid on his back praying to the Force that Finn was okay with Lando.

‘ _He’s okay.’_ Said a female voice _._

 _“What?”_ Poe sat straight up in his bed only to find himself standing up in a room, or what looked like a room. It was all blue and hazy, as if he were standing under a pool of water.

“ _I said that he’s okay, I wouldn’t hurt Nas_.” The woman was in front of him, a good five feet away. She looked healthy and normal. Poe could see her scars were healed and her skin now smooth and unblemished. Her hair was now long and in plentiful small braids that were being held together by dark red ribbons and silver bands.

“ _Who are you_?” Poe asked bewildered, he took a step closer to the woman.

“ _I’m Nahiyah_.”

“ _Nahiyah?”_ Poe repeated as he took in Nahiyah’s state of dress, she had what looked to be wrappings of maroon ribbons of silk over her chest and an ornate maroon and silver skirt that bellowed out. She had interesting designs that shined silver and gold on her arms. Poe recognized one of the designs, the crest of the planet Asj’r.

“ _You’re royal_?” Poe asked.

“ _I am. Princess Nahiyah Rasja-Nur of the planet_ -”

“ _Asj’r_.” Poe finished, dumb founded that he knew her and her planet. And more than anything “ _I-I knew-Is your mother Queen Maawa?_ ”

Nahiyah looked taken aback for the moment, a small sad smile graced her face as her eyes began to widen-nearly empty still compared to how she appeared in the real world when Poe first met her. “ _No, my mother is Queen Mehr. Queen Maawa was my aunt_.”

Poe massaged his forehead, he knew _Maawa_. Or at least, his _mother_ knew Maawa, he had met her a handful of times. She was pregnant the last time he had seen her, expecting her second child. He remembered it somewhat clearly even though he was barely eight years old- he remembered being excited.

 There was also something else he remembered, Maawa was dead. Killed in an attack that led to Asj’r becoming a planet claiming to be a neutral nation and cloaking itself using the Force.

Whatever priests still existed in order for them to use the Force as cloak had done a good job. He hadn’t met anyone claiming to be from Asj’r since the cloak took affect all those years ago.

“ _I’m sorry about your loss, truly I am_.”

Nahiyah's eyes were cast down, slowly taking in Poe’s condolences. “ _Thank you_.” She said, her voice soft and nearly inaudible. “ _I wanted to explain to you that I mean no harm to Nas. I didn’t come here to cause trouble-_ ”

“ _Well you clearly did by accident then, because you sent out the wrong guy. My friend Finn is out there putting himself in danger and he’s already been through too much_.” Poe argued.

Now Nahiyah was smirking, “ _I maybe sick physically but my mind is still strong, as is my memory. I know my cousin when I see him._ ”

“ _Cousin?”_ Poe stepped back in confusion.  
“ _Nas_.” Nahiyah stated simply, “ _Or as you so call him so sweetly_ , Finn.”

Poe was sure if they were having this conversation in real life he would have done a spit take. “ _Finn? My Finn? As in FN-2187? That Finn? Is actually a-a prince?_ ” he asked knowing what the answer would be already, that didn’t stop him from becoming slightly hysterical though.

Nahiyah nodded, “ _Prince_ _Nas Rasja-Nur of the planet Asj’r. Second child and first son of Queen Maawa and King Adebiyi.”_

Poe, while aware he was sleeping peacefully in his bed, was pretty sure the color was being drained from his face as Nahiyah’s words went through him. He sucked in his cheeks as the words started to gain weight in his mind.

“ _Finn is a prince_?” He asked to be sure.

“ _Yes_.”

“ _Like an actual prince_?” Poe asked one more time.

“ _Yes_.”

Nahiyah waited patiently for a while as Poe began to analyze and accept all of this while talking out loud in another language.

“ _Should I tell you the other news about my cousin or should I wait till after you have your breakdown?_ ” Nahiyah asked, sounding genuinely concerned and confused about Poe’s current state.

Poe looked ready to say something for a moment, he had his finger pointed at her and his mouth opened. “ _I_ -” he quickly quieted, not knowing where to go from. “ _Gaahh_!” he groaned, running his hands through his hair messily. “ _Just tell me know before I completely lose it_.”

\--------------------------------------------------

“It’s up to you, I won’t push you to decide on where you should go, or if you allow it, where we should go.” K2 offered gently as he watched Finn pace his room, occasionally grimacing at the pain in his back. “What would you like to do?” K2 asked him again.

It was the first time Finn was asked that and for the first time, he could make the decision. There was nothing here to lose or win in terms of casualties- just his memories on the line.

Was it worth it?

He could feel his hands become tingling, he shook them out as the feeling of déjà vu settled over him.  This wasn’t the first time his hands have felt this way, not numb- but itchy.

_“You need to focus. Focus on your mind opening up to the darkness and allow yourself to be given to me!”_

_There was blood on his hands after wiping his lip, “NO! I won’t!”_

_The shadowy figure make a noise of surprise and became taken aback at his curt tone._

_The smile was something he was and would always be afraid of, “Then we should try to fix your allegiance again, shall we.” It wasn’t a question._

_He screamed as two red hooded figures began to drag him far away from the figure into that damn room again, and again and again._

_No one, not even him, seemed surprised to see the whole room become undone as the scream became louder._

_He saw her though, being held back by more of those red guards as she struggled to fight their grasp- he could hear her call out for him._

“Are you okay?” K2 broke him out of his faze, the droid was now in front of him.

“Hmm-What?” Finn shook the feeling from his hands again, stepping back from the droid a bit.

“Are you okay?” K2 repeated, “It appeared that I lost you there for a moment.” He examined Finn, the man apparently was in pain all over. “Should I get Ema to look you over? According to my scan, your body temp-”

“I’m fine K2.”

“You’re not.”

“I am, just my body getting use to being active.” He shot a glance at the droid who looked like he wasn’t buying any of Finn’s excuses.

“I find that answer vague and unconvincing.” K2 hunched his shoulders forward, “You need to have Ema look you over, you are not well.”

Finn bit back an annoyed groan, “I’m fine, sans the memories rushing me like a heard of banthas, I’m good, probably just need to rest.”

K2 looked as if he wanted to say something but instead walked back to lean against the wall, “Sooner or later I’ll find out, I always do.”

Finn crossed his arms, “That doesn’t sound ominous at all, what are you planning?”

“Nothing, you’re not my first human that chose to ignore the obvious. I-well never mind that. Have you decided what the next step is?”

 _‘Good way to change topic before I could learn more about you.’_ Finn thought sitting down on the bed. “I want to know more.”

“So you’re going?” K2 asked.

Finn nodded, “I know I won’t be able to get any sort of peace till I know where I came from and why I was taken away. I know the people who have my answers and I-I don’t know how to explain it- but I just know that I need to find something.”

K2 stayed quiet for a moment, “Something? Just something?” 

“Yeah, this is going to a blind scavenger hunt for something that I don’t know will end good or bad for me.”

“Would you like me to come along?” K2 asked, sounding nearly hopeful that Finn would say yes.

Finn thought for a few seconds, he knew he shouldn’t go alone but “It could be dangerous for you if you came along.”

K2 nodded, taking in Finn’s answer reasonably. “And it could be dangerous for you if I don’t come. The First Order is a lot to take on by yourself.”

Finn chuckled, he did barely make it out of the base with K2’s help alone. “Is raising the number to two any better luck?”

“Just might be.” K2 walked up and rested his hands on Finn’s shoulders. “I had a friend who once said make ten men feel like one hundred.”

“Still just two of us, K2.”

K2 dropped his hands from Finn’s shoulder, “You really do know how to ruin a moment, don’t you?”

Finn actually laughed out loud this time, giving K2 a half-hearted apology for ruining the moment. While the moment was ruined it did give them the chance to have a moment of peace before focusing on the task as hand.

“When did you want to leave?” K2 asked as Finn got out of the room to find Lando and Ema.

“As soon as we can get a ship or something, we’re going to need something that gets us around.” Finn explained as he walked down the brightly lit halls following the sounds of Lando and Ema’s voice to the kitchen.

“Finn, nice to see you up.” Lando greeted him, pushing him a bowl of soup. “Eat up, kid, you're gonna need it.” Lando pushed out chair for Finn with his cane as Ema found a stool for K2 to sit on.

“You two were there for a long time. Are you guys okay?” Ema asked worriedly as she settled a bowl of oil for K2, who took the bowl graciously.

“I-we, K2 and I, we decided that we need to move on.” Finn explained.

Lando frowned, his hands settled over the top of his cane. Finn eyed the dark black ring that glistened against the kitchen lights. “Move on where, kid? You got the base worried sick over you, where are you planning to go?”

“I need to find my family, more so my memories.”

“Excuse me?”

Finn closed his eyes, trying desperately to figure out a way to explain himself without sounding out his mind.

“He recently obtained his memories after years of dormancy, supposedly, and now needs to find those in the First Order who attempted to erase said memories. On top of that he is trying to locate his family. No memories there though, except for a blurry vision of braids. Is that right?”

Leave it to K2 to spill out everything so eloquently, he was sure BB-8 was out there somewhere giving K2 a thumbs up.

Finn only nodded wordlessly.

“All this to get your memories and family back?” Lando asked.

“Yes.”

Lando gave a short “Hmm.” response as he looked at Ema to see if she had any thoughts. He could already see her brain and heart working overtime. He had a feeling where this might be going for her.  “I’m not your father kid. I do care where you go though, as does Leia and Poe. He would have my head if anything happened to you.”

Finn had never focused so hard in studying a piece of furniture before, he could feel K2 staring him down at that remark.

“Do you have a ship?” Ema asked.

Finn and K2 both said no.

“Well you’re going to need to start there if you insist on finding your family and memories.” Ema looked at her father. “We can see what we can do.”

Finn thanked them both for their help, they discussed the chanced of them going to Kashyyk, where Lando had a few connections and some retired ships that he believed where in good shape still.

After agreeing to their plan and helping wash up the dishes Finn went to bed to rest. He woke up a few times to use the bathroom and then use the shower. By the time he was actually ready to go to bed K2 was getting ready to power down. While he was napping he had witnessed K2 look at a hologram five people, from what Finn could see, all five where human. K2 then erased the images of four of the people to only focus on one, a man with short dark hair and an emblem of the Old Republic on his jacket.

Finn wanted to ask questions about the man, about the other four, but chose not to. He knew K2 wasn’t ready to open up. K2 had to stay quiet about his friends for years, it wasn’t fair to expect him to open up about his past in a matter of minutes to Finn.

Once he was in bed Finn finally felt marginally better. The hot water got rid of the pain in his back and neck, but not in his hands and chest. The tingly feeling was now stretching to his head, Finn grimaced at the pain that was now pounding his head. ‘ _Great_.’ He thought as the migraine began to worsen, he turned off the lights quickly and settled into bed.

He didn’t know what he was dreaming off, he could only see dirt, pieces of grass and trees flying in the area. He could hear someone scream his name, “ _NAS_!” a set of voices really. He could feel actual tears going down his cheeks as he saw himself reach out for someone, someone who was on the ground and not moving. He lifted his hands to reach out desperately for her. He knew it was her. He just knew it as he continued to watch things and people fly off in every direction in order to get closer to her…her?

“MOM!” Finn nearly head budded Ema.

“Finn! It was a nightmare! You’re okay!” Ema reminded him as she helped lift him up so that he could sit up to accept the water Lando had out to him.

He shakily accepted the glass, drinking it all down in one gulp. He lamented his state of dress, he was now sweating all over, and his clothes sticking to his body, making him feel more suffocated. K2 sensed this and cautioned Ema and Lando to step back.

Once Finn was able to gather his bearings he quickly apologized for waking everyone up.

“Guess the nightmare was too much.”

“I’ll say.” Lando pointed to the room around him, Finn finally noticed what was wrong. All the furniture that was set up was now impaled in the walls.

Finn’s gulp was audible, “I-I did that?”

Lando nodded slowly, “Nearly knocked Ema out.” He held his daughter’s hand tight, “Must have been one hell of a nightmare.”

Of course K2 would chose now to speak up, “I told you that you were not well.”

\------------------------------------

Poe wanted to throw up, he wanted to faint, and he wanted to scream into the sky. But none those were a choice as of now.

 _“Finn’s force sensitive?_ ” He asked with dread, confirming what he had just heard from Nahiyah.

“ _More than that Poe, he’s a Jedi_.”

Poe could only bite his lower lip as he tried to think of some sort of response. Screaming seemed like the only option.

 

_Something important died hissing, you, tell em you, living like something even more important arrived giving. Something you should probably try willing_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics from ZZZ Top by Aesop Rock.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The adventure for Finn and his crew are beginning, but not without its bumps. Including a nice power flare up that takes Finn way off guard.

_Gather my attention it was all for you, so don't_ _  
take advantage, don't leave my heart damaged_

“So Finn is a prince and a Jedi?” Leia asked with a sigh as she and Poe stood in front of the bacta tank, Nahiyah still enclosed in it. “What else did she tell you?”

Poe pinched the bridge of his nose, “A lot more than I think you would like to hear.”

Leia gave him a stern look as she crossed her arms, “Try me.”

\---------------------------------------------------------

Of course, K2 would choose now to speak up, “I told you that you were not well.” The droid nearly chortled.

Finn could only stare at the furniture embedded into the walls, his voice was caught in his throat and he didn’t feel and/or hear anything till Ema’s voice got through to him.

“Finn, you need to breath.” He barely felt her hands on her shoulders. “Please Finn, you need to take deep breaths with me.”

Finn could only just feel his lungs getting heavier.

“What color are the walls?” Ema asked. She repeated the question when all she received was an empty look from Finn. “What color are the walls, Finn?” she shook him a bit.

“Red.” Finn gasped.

“What color is the bed sheet?”

Another breath, “Blue.”

“Good.” He could finally feel her hands rubbing his shoulders, Lando moved aside to sit next to him.

“What color is your shirt?”

“Beige.” His voice was finally even.

“Feeling better there, kid?” Lando asked after Finn was finally calm. He watched the young boy pull himself up till he was sitting up against the bed frame. He was sweating, his shirt soaked through as he rubbed his face- the tiresome and nausea palpable.

“No, not really.” Finn answered honestly. “How did I do that?”

“The obvious answer would be with the _force_.” K2 stated sarcastically. “I did not realize you were Padawan.”

“A what?” Finn asked confused, he only knew what it meant to be a Jedi.

“An adolescent or Jedi apprentice, usually those who are force sensitive at a young age are chosen to be trained as a Jedi and are titled as Younglings.” Lando explained, “Did you know you were force sensitive?”

Finn flinched as the pain began to form again in his head and hands, “No, never would have guessed it either. I mean, I got to wield a lightsaber but I wasn’t really good at it. That’s how I got the scar on my back.”

Despite the shame and embarrassment that Finn was feeling as the thoughts of the battle with Kylo came back to him, he noticed that Lando and Ema looked impressed and almost proud of him.

“Wait a minute.” Ema asked, shaking her head. “You went head to head with who and got a scar?”

“With Kylo.”

Lando let out a low whistle, “Kid, you fought against him and all you ended up was with a scar? That’s more than anyone else got away with.”

“Rey made it though, she’s the one with the potential to become Jedi. Not me.” Finn explained softly.

“Regardless of what you may think about your levels of potential to become a Jedi, there is no doubt that you are Force sensitive since you made a every piece of furniture become impaled into the walls.” K2 pointed out. “You are not insignificant in this war Finn. You have the potential to become so much than what you believe. No one is holding you back except for you at this moment.”

Lando’s eyes became wide, “That was very profound, K2.”

“It was either that, or tell him to grow up. I figured the latter was more appropriate for this type of environment.”

Ema let out a snicker, “You’ve been around droids for way too long buddy.” She patted the droid’s arm, “But K2 is right, you did this” she waved her hands to point out the furniture, “You do have the potential to become a Jedi, whether you believe it or not.”

Lando got up to examine the damage, the furniture (everything from the lamps to the desk chair) were impaled into the walls half way or at least one fourth of the way. “Hmm, can you try pulling out the chair out from the wall?”

“I don’t know how to.” Finn groaned.

“Just try. You did it once you can do it again.”

Finn lifted his hand up, believing it would help him with controlling the chair, something he had seen Kylo done multiple times.

Nothing happened.

“You’re overthinking it.” K2 declared after a few minutes had passed with nothing happening.

“Well, I’m sorry. I never had to pull a chair out of wall before using the Force! Not exactly sure what level of thinking is actually required here!” Finn hissed as got up quickly from his bed to stand.

Lando came to his side and stood next to him, his hands settling on his shoulders. “K2 is right though; you _are_ overthinking this.” He gave Finn a little shake. “You need to clear your mind and focus.”

 “ _You need to clear your mind and focus!_ ” _wheezed the harsh and grizzly Sith lord. He could feel the tears pour down his face as he strained his mind to keep the rocks as high up as possible._

_It was only his second week practicing with Darth Maul, but Snoke was pushing him to train with him till he got better with using the Force._

_“Its starting to hurt!” he yelled as he could feel his body begin to burn inside out. He couldn’t see that his veins were bulging out, his eyes becoming fiery red ._

_“Conquer it! Feel the darkness and pain, its in you already! Ignore everything in you and focus on your anger and control!” Maul ordered as he continued to circle him. Pushing him further past his breaking point. Maul watched in awe as the young boy’s eyes became more red, he watched proudly as the boy’s screams turned from sounds of pain to anger. The rocks that his youngling was straining to keep suspended in the air shot higher till they were out of sight._

_He looked over to see Maul looking appeased. “Call them down. Remember to clear your mind of all the things you remember or feel. Their all useless to you now. Remember that.”_

_He nodded and looked up, none of the rocks could be seen but he could feel them. His ability to use the Force had improved slightly and he could feel his power suspending the rocks still. He closed his eyes, forcing himself to ignore his doubts, fear, his enemies and so called friends._

_He was able to retrieve the rocks and gently rest them back down to the ground._

_“Perfect.” Maul damn well sneered. “Snoke will be pleased.”_

“Finn?” he heard Ema call out his name, concerned for his sanity now.

Without realizing it, Finn’s eyes began to glow red. He lifted his hands and slowly pulled his hands back.

Lando, Ema, and K2 could only look in horror and in disbelief as Finn began to use the Force to remove the furniture from the walls. Once the furniture was settled to their former place, the holes in the walls began to fix themselves, leaving the walls unscathed.

Finn’s eyes returned to normal. They all waited a moment, watching silently as Finn shook his head to get over whatever that moment was. 

“So I will say it.” K2 piped up after Lando nor Ema said anything, “What the kriff was that?!” the droid exclaimed as he looked down to see Finn horrified at his actions.

“That.” Lando began slowly, “Was using the dark side of the Force.” He looked at Finn with new eyes. “Something tells me that you didn’t know you could do that.” Lando could only feel pity as he saw that the young man looked as if he were past his breaking point.

“What the hell am I?” Finn asked as he clutched his head, he was crying as the pain in his hands and head began to subside finally. He felt Ema wrap her arms around him, her hand pressing his head into her chest as way to calm him down.

“You’re Finn, you’re not them.” Ema reminded him.

“But what if I was? I can remember being trained by Sith Lords, they wanted me to join them.”

“But you didn’t.” Lando stated in a matter of fact voice. “You broke free from them and fought against them, do _not_ put your accomplishments down kid.”

“Easier said than done.” Finn sighed, he wiped away his tears with the bottom of his shirt. “They-they didn’t break me, did they?”

“You’re still standing.” K2 pointed out, “The Empire and the First Order, they can believe all they want that they can take us and control us, but they can’t. We won’t allow them.”

Finn nodded slowly, a feeling of acceptance surged through him as he gave the droid a sad small closed lip smile. K2’s words struck him as sincere, if anyone knew what was like to escape the clutches of an evil empire to finally be in charge of your own autonomy, it was him and K2.

“We need to make a club.” Finn joked, the laugh coming out of him was sour. “Two sad former baddies.”

“Three.” Lando smiled, he winked when he saw Finn’s look of horror and surprise. “You’re not the only one who has toyed with the dark side, kid. I dealt and rubbed elbows with the baddest of bad. You’re not alone in this kid. Know that.”

Finn nodded again, straightening up a little as he finally felt a new sense of comfort and acceptance amongst his new friends.

“Thank you.” Finn said bashfully as he was pulled into a one arm hug by Lando.

“No need for that.” Lando informed him as Finn accepted a hug from Ema. “Just get some rest. We’re gonna need it if you and K2 are determined to find your family.”

“More so now than ever.” Finn confirmed.

“We’ll see you in a couple of hours then.” Ema and Lando finally said their good night, allowing the door to slide behind them.

“Four.” K2 suddenly said after the room had gone dark and Finn was back in his bed.

“What?”

“It would have been four of us who would know what it was like to work alongside the Empire and the First Order.” K2 explained, his voice sounding flat.

Finn turned around in his bed to see K2 properly, “Who’s the fourth?”

K2 never answered, he powered down. Leaving Finn with more questions about the droid’s past.

\----------------------------------------

Luke watched solemnly as Rey was told yet again that Finn was not willing to speak to anyone while he was with Lando. Everyday Rey’s heart appeared to be chipped away as she was yet again going through being rejected by someone she believed was family.

“Are you okay?” Luke asked, knowing he had taken her off guard by his sudden appearance after she turned off the holo communicator. He didn’t miss her bowing her head to wipe away tears.

“I’m good.” She stated, her voice firmer than he would have liked it. Her eyes though gave her away. “Can we train now?”

Luke nodded as he followed her silently.

He stopped suddenly, feeling something was now suddenly off.

“Master Luke?”

Luke was rock still for too long.

“Master Luke?” Rey repeated, louder as she tried to push down the feeling of panic.

Luke broke out of his trance, “The force.” He panted, Rey could see that his eyes were wet. “It’s shifting.”

\-------------------------------------------------------

“Am I in trouble?” Finn asked when he saw Ema and Lando sitting down at the kitchen table waiting for him to show.

“Guilty conscience?” Ema teased as she pushed out a chair for him using her foot.

Finn rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, “After last night? Yes.”

Lando chuckled, “You’re not in trouble with us or anyone else.” He cleared his throat. “Ema and I had a long conversation about you though.”

K2 nodded, “I should state that I have been programmed to pick up on voice cues, so can clearly point out with confidence that it does sound that you are mad at Finn.”

“Not mad, concerned.” Ema clarified, “I don’t want what happened last night to happen again.”

“Neither of us do.” Lando added on, his eyes going dark when he glanced at his daughter.

Finn suddenly felt that while the topic was about him, the anger was not. Whatever discussion the two had with each other seemed to be a very heavy and argumentative.  “Thank you, I’m sorry that I worried you two. I would say I promise it won’t happen again, but…I don’t know if it won’t.”

Lando shrugged, “We figured that, which is why Ema here has volunteered herself to go with you and K2.”

Finn smiled, “What?”

“If you want, I could join you. Not a Jedi or anything like that, but I’m a good pilot and-”

Finn shook his head, “You don’t have to convince me,” his smile was contagious, “I would love it if you came with us. You as well General Calrissian.”

“It’s Lando, kid.” Lando reminded him, “And I’m not going. Figured I should stay out of this one.” His tone was soft now as he began to fiddle with his ring.

Finn frowned at how mood in the kitchen changed, the father and daughter were now sullen again.

“That’s okay, sir- Lando!” Finn corrected himself, “Uh-I’m really thankful for you two for everything.”

Lando nodded, “I’m glad.” He took his daughter hand. “Consider it as our way of saying thank you for fighting back against the First Order.” Lando slapped the table, _forcing_ the mood to change, “Well what are we doing here then? Lets go get you a ship!”

Kashyyk was a forestry type planet with lush and large trees, to top it off the weather was warm and humid.

Finn had never been on the planet but knew quite a lot about it due to it being such a pivotal role in taking down the Empire. He knew the that at one point the planet was made up of wookies and ewoks, but now the planet had a changed a bit since the last war with the Empire and New Republic. Kashyyk mostly served as a trading post and was home to not only wookies and ewoks, but retired veterans of the war as well.

“So what exactly is the plan here?” K2 asked as the group walked out of the ship, the ship post was packed with traders, smugglers, and visitors from all walks of the galaxy.

Finn couldn’t help but turn everywhere to see what was happening around him. He had been to different planets, of course, but each time felt different. “The plan is to find a ship although I don’t understand why we’re stopping first at Cerchick.” Ema questioned, giving her father a suspicious look. They had walked off the port and post station and towards a dirt covered bazar with hundreds of small stalls and species of all kinds trying to sell them goods. 

Finn jutted his thumb to the space behind him, “Aren’t the posts to buy or rent ships back there?”

“Yep, but I wanted to make a little pit stop at my favorite little place.” Lando explained as he opened the side door to a soot covered building.

Inside was a decent sized pub that had definitely seen better days. The lights were dim, despite the suns shining outside. Finn realized there were no windows but just small floating blue lights and small bronze tables and chairs. The floor, tiled and stained, was packed with people- majority of them either fighting or betting on games.

Finn was jaw slacked while K2 looked perplexed, “I do not mean to be offensive, General, but if this is your favorite place, then we must really discuss the statuses and safety of your other “favorite places”.”

Finn elbowed the droid, “Really?”

Lando though, didn’t appear to be affronted, instead he chuckled. “I know it’s an eye sore, but this is where Han and I would spend our evenings. Reminded us of Socorro.”

Finn nodded, he wanted to ask so many questions about Han and wanted to apologize for leading Han to his death, but could see the open fresh pain that was bubbling between Lando and Ema. He quickly wiped away the tears before anyone could see them.

“Still doesn’t explain why we’re here, dad.” Ema pointed out testily. Her face blanched when she caught eye of something. “Really?” she groaned as Lando caught the direction of her gaze.

“Could never pass anything by you.” Lando grinned, pulling her close, “Just like your dads.”

“What is it?”  Finn asked, not knowing what the two were looking at.

“An old friend of ours.” Lando answered simply, he waved over at someone and, finally, Finn could see who that person was.

“Who’s she?”

“Ymir Palnner. She used to be a path finder.” Ema explained in a bored drawl. “I knew he would try to pull this.”

Finn frowned, the woman looked nice at least. She was shorter than Finn by a few inches, and looked to be a few years older than Ema, and had shoulder length wavy brown hair. Ymir had on a military jacket with the old republic emblem on the back and sleeve. Finn realized quickly as Ymir walked closer that her lower have looked be mechanical as well as her right hand.

“What happened to her legs and hand?” Finn asked softly as Ymir came over to them to hug Lando.

“Took out a load of Stormtroopers, thought she made it out till one of those Siths got to her before she killed him.” Ema explained quickly through closed lips before Ymir came to greet her with a handshake.

“Who might these newbies be?”  Ymir asked when she came in front of Finn and K2.

“I’m Finn Dameron.” Finn greeted as he shook Ymir’s mechanical hand. He pointed at K2, “And this is K2-SO”

“I have a voice you know and hello.” K2 pipped up, giving Ymir a short wave.

“You’re an imperial droid?” Ymir asked, looking a bit confused at K2.

“And you’re part droid.” K2 retorted, earning himself a gasp from Finn.

Ymir glowered at the droid for a few seconds, “Touché.”  She winked at the droid. She turned back to Lando, “I heard what happened to Han. I’m truly sorry.”

Lando took a deep breath, “Thank you, “ he said softly, “I-we, actually, have a favor to ask of you.” Lando began before Ema cut him off.

“No, you got it right, _you_ have a favor to ask of her. Not us.” She corrected her father, with arms crossed.

Finn stood useless in front of them, not know why there was so much disdain between Ymir and Ema.

Lando shook his head, non-repulsed at his daughter’s stubbornness. Even Finn couldn’t help but bite back a laugh at Ema’s stubbornness reminded him a lot of Han’s.

“Remember the news about that ex-Stormtrooper who helped take out the death star and Kylo Ren?” Lando started off in a conversational tone.

Ymir’s eyes lit up, “Course I do! The First Order defector?! That kid was the talk of the town for weeks. Not to mention, bounty hunters are still looking for him.”

Finn took a step back, looking around the pub to see who he could identify as a bounty hunter. “Terrific.” He groaned, missing K2 taking a step closer to him.

“Well, here he is.” Lando waved at Finn, “The Big Deal.”

Finn groaned again at that. He felt a plethora of emotions, ranging from guilt to embarrassment. “That’s me.” He waved, feeling somewhat miserable at that self-appointed title. 

Ymir smiled, “Really?” she set her hands on his shoulders, “Kriffing hell, I don’t know why we all imagined you a lot older. You won’t believe how your story gave so many people here hope about taking down the First Order, everyone here didn’t think of them as a true threat till they destroyed Coruscant. But we know now that they can be taken out and they will not reach the levels of the Galactic Empire.”

She walked them over to small table, “So are you guys here to do a publicity meet and greet?” Ymir asked sarcastically. “Showing off the great Finn Dameron?” She paused, “Wait? Dameron? You’re not related to Kes Dameron, are you? I thought he and Shara only had one kid.”

“Um…” Finn could feel himself start to heat up, “I-I never knew my name, till recently. Um, Poe Dameron sort of gave me the name Finn, adopted his last name when I had to get papers for the base.” Finn explained, choosing his words carefully. He couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt, he missed Poe like crazy and so badly wanted to talk to him.

“That’s really sweet.” Ymir sounded sincere, she waved off a waiter and continued to talk, “Welp, I’m glad you made it through this whole crap with the First Order.” She smiled at Lando. “So, what could I do for you all here then? You all thinking of resettling here? “

Lando and Ema glanced at each other, “Sort of.” Lando started off, “I’m settling back here again, kid here though is need of guard.”

“For what?”

Lando motioned his head towards Finn, signaling for him to explain. “Uh, long story short, I need to find my family. I sort of regained my memories and now I sort of need to find these places.”

“And he’s a Jedi.” K2 pointed out.

Finn glared at him. “It’s true though.” K2 shrugged.

“Not exactly a Jedi. Not a Jedi at all, really.” Finn clarified.

Lando smirked, “Just don’t sleep against the walls when he has nightmares.” He winked at Finn, who immediately casted his head down. “I have a proposition for you, Ymir.”

“What is it?”

“I need you to protect this gang as they go through the galaxy.”

Ymir smiled, her eyes looking gleeful as she pulled closer to Lando. Earning herself a sigh from Ema. “What? Not feeling nostalgic enough to travel through the galaxy like in the old days?” her tone jovial.

Lando tried to look humorous, but his sight landed back on his ring. “I think my perusing through the galaxy is over. Not so much fun when the one person you always traveled with is no longer here.” He lamented.

Finn and the table grew quiet. Finn though knew that no one wanted to mourn at the moment, “You think you would be willing to come with us?”

“Might be.” Ymir answered, “Gotta a ship?”

“Yes, mine.” Lando answered without a beat.

“WHAT?!” Ema snapped, it was the first-time Finn had heard her raise her voice. “You’re giving us Ghost Pilot?!” she tugged at her father’s arm. “What about you?”

Lando relaxed back in his seat, “We bought that house along side Chewie’s place, finally time to maybe let go of the reigns.” He slowly removed his daughter’s hands and set them on the table, with his hand enclosing over hers’. “I know you all can do this.”

Finn bit his cheek as he watched both Ema and Ymir digest Lando’s words. “I know we can.” He found himself saying. “We all got this, right?”

K2 bumped his arm, “I’m ready to embark whenever you are.”

“Ema? Ymir? You two still up for this?” Finn asked, aware he was slightly pleading with them to come along.

“I don’t know about Ema, but I’m gammed. Miss going through the galaxy since I retired.” Ymir smiled.

“Ema?” Finn looked at her. 

Ema squeezed her father’s hand. “There was no question, Finn. I’m definitely going.”

It was later the next day when the four where standing outside of Lando’s home. Ghost Pilot ship parked out front.

“You ready, kid?” Lando asked as he watched Finn pack some of his and Han’s old clothes.

“I think so.” Finn huffed as he patted down the duffel bag that had Lando’s initials. “Um, thank you. For everything.” He patted the bag. “Are you sure you’re okay with me borrowing yours’ and Mr. Solo’s stuff?”

Lando pointed at him, “I know my husband well enough to point out that he would have hated you calling him Mr. Solo.”

Finn bit his lip to keep from laughing, “He did.”  He settled the bag on the ground, “I-I’m sorry, about what happened to Han.” Finn began before Lando waved him off.

“It’s not your doing.”

“It feels like it, I should have stopped Kylo, I should have done something.” Finn mourned. He pressed his lips together, forcing himself not to cry.

“You did a lot, more than what many could and would have done.” Lando sighed, “I-I kept going over in my head what _I_ could have done. I had all these regrets and questions after I found out what happened.” He rubbed his face, Finn could only stare helplessly as Lando’s guard began to fall- his cool candor no longer visible. He suddenly felt Lando’s age catching up to him- all that sorrow and heartbreak etched into every line in his face.

“I-I know that feeling.” Finn nodded, a slight blurry vision of red hair and freckles phased through his line of vision. “I don’t know what else to say, besides thank you for everything. I-I wish you were coming with us.”  
Lando sniffed, “Me too, but I was serious yesterday when I said that I don’t feel like going across the skies, not anymore at least.”

“Hey,” he took ahold of Lando’s shoulders, unsure of what to do. Lando was more expressive than Han, and more easy to read. He did the only thing he could do, pull Lando into a hug. “I miss him too.”

Finn could feel Lando’s tears soak through his shirt as he held the older man close. After a few minutes Lando pulled away, his hands-on Finn’s forearms. “Do me one favor.”

“Anything.”

Lando pointed his finger at Finn’s chest, “You come back to me in one piece, you got me kid?”

Finn nodded, “I promise.” He allowed himself to be pulled into another hug.

 

_I don't wanna fall in love off of subtweets so_   
_let's get personal_   
_I got a lot of cool spots that we can go_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics from the song, "Location" by Khalid.


End file.
